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I remember that sometimes, after renewing these

Crucifixions, He would say to me: “Beloved of My Heart,
I ardently desire not only to crucify your soul and to
communicate the pains of the Cross to your body, but also
to mark your body with the mark of My wounds; and I want

to teach you the prayer in order to obtain this Grace. This is
the prayer: ‘I present myself before the Supreme Throne of

God, bathed in the Blood of Jesus Christ, praying Him, by
the Merit of His most Luminous Virtues and of His Divinity,
to concede me the Grace to be Crucified’.”

However, I have always had an aversion for anything
that might appear externally and I still do but in the act
in which Jesus was saying that, I would feel such yearnings

being infused in me to satisfy the desire that He Himself was
expressing, that I would yet dare to ask Jesus to crucify me in
the soul and in the body.

And sometimes I would say to Him: “Holy Spouse, I
would rather not have external things; and if sometimes I
dare to ask for that, it is because You Yourself tell me to, and

also to give a sign to the confessor that it is You who operates
in me. But for the rest, I would like nothing other than for
those pains, which You make me suffer when You renew the
Crucifixion, to be permanent; I would rather not have that

diminution after some time. This alone is enough for me.
As for the outward appearance, the more You can keep me

hidden, the more You will make me content.”

I remember only confusedly that, when I would be with
Our Lord, I would often ask for sorrow for my sins and for

the Grace to be forgiven of all the evil I had done; and at
times I reached the point of saying that only then would I be
content, when I would hear Him say, from His own lips: “I

remit all your sins.”

And Blessed Jesus, who can deny nothing when it is for

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